I have been heart broken a few times in my life. The first real one really sucked: came by way of text message breakup. Looking back, I wonder what took her so long. But when it happened, I was inconsolable. I lost weight, did not leave the house, ignored friends, blacked out curtains, everything that screamed please kill me. But shit, heartbreak has been happening since there were two people. It is something that everyone goes through and should grow through. It’s that right of passage that we all take, into adulthood. But that doesn’t make it any easier, so here are a few things to help you through it.
Here’s some proof that I’ve been dumped. That’s me, holding a poorly drawn picture of myself. After being dumped, I lost a bunch of weight, grew a beard, and wore an ace bandage like a bandana.
1. First, you are going to need a movie. My go to is L’appartement (The Apartment). After my first real heartbreak, I must have watched this movie 300 times. It stars Vincent Cassel and Monica Belucci, who were actually married in real life. Without going into too much detail, this movie was made for heartbroken people searching for answers. The film has this eery feel to it, sort of like being in your own neighborhood while still being a stranger. Somehow, suddenly, everything you thought you knew becomes foreign and strange. A warning for future viewers, this is not a particularly happy film. If you want happy, just watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall a hundred times (nothing wrong with that).
2. Get tinder. But be weary, I have never met anyone on it that actually looked like their pictures.
3. Take a mental health week off from people. No joke. You are gonna say a bunch of shit you will regret if you speak to any of your friends, so don’t.
4. Play video games. Play them online and complain to strangers.
5. Call your mom. You can say anything to her because she sort of has to like you by default.
6. Go easy on the booze. It seems like the move, but it is definitely not the move. Nothing worse than drunk dialing your ex or sleeping with someone who you would vomit at the thought of normally.
7. There are probably a million or so songs written about heartbreak but as far as I’m concerned there is one album you should have on repeat: Bob Dylan’s Blood on the Tracks.
8. Give it some time. Unfortunately, time is the only real cure all.
Article by Timothy White. You can follow him on Twitter @TipToTheHip
